30 Best No-brainer Movies On Cineplex Canada (Page 2)

The 1980s were not a great time to be of Pakistani descent in the UK. Hate crimes are at an all-time high and the economy is suffering. Plus, there is really no good era to be a misunderstood teenager. Javed is both those things in this coming-of-age comedy based on a true story. Javed finds solace in the music of one Bruce Springsteen, relating to his themes of small-city blues and the dreams of escaping them.

All of this makes Blinded By The Light a charming movie about a lot of unpleasantness, and while it tries to be too many things (a commentary on race, a musical, a coming of age story, etc), it succeeds where it matters: to treat the story with care and intelligence.

Genre: Comedy, Drama

Actor: Aaron Phagura, Asheq Akhtar, Billy Barratt, David Hayman, Dean-Charles Chapman, Frankie Fox, Hayley Atwell, James Ballanger, Jeff Mirza, Kriss Dosanjh, Kulvinder Ghir, Kumiko Chadha Berges, Lorraine Ashbourne, Marcus Brigstocke, Meera Ganatra, Nell Williams, Nikita Mehta, Olivia Poulet, Rob Brydon, Robert Ryan, Ronak Chadha Berges, Ronak Singh Chadha Berges, Sally Phillips, Sofia Abbasi, Tara Divina, Vincent Andriano, Viveik Kalra

Director: Gurinder Chadha

Rating: PG-13

Galaxy Quest may be a parody of the sci-fi franchise, but it’s also a huge fan of it. It forgoes cynical takes for smart odes to the genre, all while retaining an endearing sense of humor about it. It’s silly and self-aware, and it has a lot of fun letting us know that they’re in on the joke. You can watch for the interesting premise, but you'll stay for the laughs and the promise of a genuine thrill ride. Everyone is a blast to watch, but Sigourney Weaver and Sam Rockwell deserve special praise for being outright hilarious, elevating Galaxy Quest from B-movie to camp classic status. 

Genre: Adventure, Comedy, Drama, Science Fiction

Actor: Alan Rickman, Corbin Bleu, Daryl Mitchell, Dian Bachar, Enrico Colantoni, Heidi Swedberg, Isaac C. Singleton Jr., J.P. Manoux, Jed Rees, Jennifer Manley, Jeremy Howard, Jerry Penacoli, Joel McKinnon Miller, Jonathan Feyer, Justin Long, Kaitlin Cullum, Kevin McDonald, Marcio Rosario, Matt Winston, Missi Pyle, Morgan Rusler, Patrick Breen, Rainn Wilson, Robin Sachs, Sam Lloyd, Sam Rockwell, Sigourney Weaver, Tim Allen, Todd Giebenhain, Tony Shalhoub

Director: Dean Parisot

Rating: PG

Written by Diablo Cody (Jennifer’s Body) and directed by Zelda Williams (daughter of the late Robin Williams), Lisa Frankenstein is a playful, funny, and stylish take on ‘80s horror and coming-of-age romcoms. Unfortunately, those traits alone are not enough to give the film the weight it needs to stand the test of time. There’s a clumsiness to the direction that, ironically enough, makes the film seem like parts lousily stitched together, instead of a coherent whole. There are pauses that are too long, transitions that feel off, and questions left unanswered. Why does it feel natural for Lisa to kill people? Was she close to her mom? What does her relationship with The Creature indicate, apart from the trite and obvious “outcasts must stick together”? Lisa Frankenstein doesn’t have to answer all these to be a good film, but when things are shallowly rendered, they become hard to ignore. It prioritizes pulpy gimmicks and visual gags that are admittedly fun to watch, but leaves behind equally important matters that flesh out Lisa as a person.

Genre: Comedy, Horror, Romance

Actor: Ashton Leigh, Bryce Romero, Carla Gugino, Charlie Talbert, Cole Sprouse, Donna DuPlantier, Geraldine Singer, Henry Eikenberry, Jenna Davis, Jennifer Pierce Mathus, Joe Chrest, Joey Harris, Joshua Montes, Kathryn Newton, Liza Soberano, Luke Sexton, Paola Andino, Ray Gaspard, Ritchie Montgomery, Shane Partlow, Summer Selby, Sylvia Grace Crim, Trina LaFargue, Walker Babington, Wendy Miklovic

Director: Zelda Williams

Rating: PG-13

Whodunnits are the cornerstone of murder mysteries, and their occasional resurgence is usually a reprieve from films with more complicated structures and twists. See How They Run gives the Agatha Christie mystery spoof a go, dissecting the cozy mystery conventions anew. With quirky British humor, solid acting, and good period-piece visuals, the familiarity and predictability culminate into an easy, well-paced watch. With no desire to reinvent the genre, the film seems to implore its audience to indulge in self-indulgence. Enjoy watching a piece of cinema for the sake of it.

Genre: Comedy, Crime, Mystery, Thriller

Actor: Adrien Brody, Angus Wright, Ania Marson, Charlie Cooper, David Oyelowo, Gregory Cox, Harris Dickinson, Jacob Fortune-Lloyd, Lucian Msamati, Maggie McCarthy, Paul Chahidi, Pearl Chanda, Philip Desmeules, Pippa Bennett-Warner, Reece Shearsmith, Ruth Wilson, Sam Rockwell, Saoirse Ronan, Shirley Henderson, Sian Clifford, Tim Key, Tolu Ogunmefun

Director: Tom George

Rating: PG-13

It's a pretty nifty idea to expand on just one section of Bram Stoker's Dracula that's essentially just a footnote but implies something much more violent and horrific. And to its credit, The Last Voyage of the Demeter takes this sliver of the source material very seriously—with strong, period-specific production design and a cast that brings humanity and morality to their otherwise two-dimensional characters. Unfortunately, the film just doesn't know what to do with itself. As a creature feature, the thrills are uninspired and difficult to see properly on screen; as a supposedly character-driven horror movie, it only ever gestures toward deeper ideas but fails to give the tragic nature of its story any weight. And Dracula himself has none of the terror or the sophistication that has made him such an enduring figure throughout all of fiction. He's just a thing with wings.

Genre: Fantasy, Horror, Thriller

Actor: Adam Shaw, Aisling Franciosi, Chris Walley, Christopher York, Corey Hawkins, David Dastmalchian, Graham Turner, Javier Botet, Jon Jon Briones, Liam Cunningham, Malcolm Galea, Martin Furulund, Nicolo Pasetti, Nikolai Nikolaeff, Noureddine Farihi, Sally Reeve, Stefan Kapičić, Vladimir Cabak, Woody Norman

Director: André Øvredal

Yet another drama designed to be emotional without actually doing the heavy lifting to get us invested, Prisoner's Daughter takes the easy way out at every turn, mistaking its use of capital-I Issues and dramatic plot points for substantial writing. This doesn't mean that the film itself isn't still watchable and competently performed (by a typically strong Brian Cox, but especially by Kate Beckinsale); it just fails to make a statement about any of its disparate parts mashed together. At the end of the day, it feels as if the film doesn't have enough faith in the already complex and difficult relationship at its center, so it attempts to dress it up with prison, cancer, drug addicts, and epilepsy—which only cheapens what's already there.

Genre: Drama, Mystery, Thriller

Actor: Brian Cox, Christopher Convery, Chuti Tiu, Cinthia Moura, Ernie Hudson, Jon Huertas, Kate Beckinsale, Mark Kubr, Mark Oliver Everett, Tyson Ritter, Yonel Dorelis

Director: Catherine Hardwicke

Rating: R

It's not that being similar to another, successful, animated franchise is a bad thing, but The Tiger's Apprentice hurries to practically every plot point without properly establishing its setting, its characters, or their relationships. It all means well, and once you get used to its lower production values, it becomes clear that the film has a distinct visual personality that it makes pretty good use of—especially during its kinetic fight scenes. But too much of the movie ultimately feels like a blueprint that hasn't had the details filled in yet. It becomes difficult to feel anything when the film doesn't give you a chance to sit with any one moment (like, you know, the death of an important character) for too long.

Genre: Action, Adventure, Animation, Family, Fantasy

Actor: Bowen Yang, Brandon Soo Hoo, Deborah S. Craig, Diana Lee Inosanto, Greta Lee, Henry Golding, Jo Koy, Josh Zuckerman, Leah Lewis, Lucy Liu, Michelle Yeoh, Patrick Gallagher, Poppy Liu, Raman Hui, Ryan Christopher Lee, Sandra Oh, Sherry Cola, Tan Kheng Hua

Director: Raman Hui

Rating: PG

The Machine wants us to assume many unlikely things, with Bert Kreischer’s global fame being the most improbable. It also wants to be both high stakes as we follow Bert and his father (Mark Hamill) being chased by the mafia and comedic as they make lighthearted jokes along the way. But it never really achieves that balance. Though it looks sleek and high-budgeted, its contents are lopsided and messy, not once hitting the mark on its many targets. Moreover, it's based on a premise so thin, that it loses all credibility midway through the film. After that, it simply becomes a parody of itself. To be sure, there are some noteworthy moments in between, like when Kreischer and Hamill share genuine father-and-son moments, but for the most part, it’s just too overbearing to warrant anyone’s attention.

Genre: Action, Comedy, Crime

Actor: Aleksandar Srećković 'Kubura', Amelie Child-Villiers, Bert Kreischer, Brian Caspe, Dobrila Stojnic, Đorđe Simić, Iva Babić, Jess Gabor, Jimmy Tatro, Mark Hamill, Marko Nedeljković, Martyn Ford, Mercedes De La Cruz, Milena Predić, Miodrag Dragičević, Nikola Đuričko, Oleg Taktarov, Rita Bernard-Shaw, Robert Maaser, Set Sjöstrand, Stephanie Kurtzuba, Tea Wagner, Vladimir Gvojić

Director: Peter Atencio

Rating: R

While at first it seems like this third installment in Antoine Fuqua's series of Denzel Washington star vehicles is setting itself up to be a more serious and thoughtful story of personal absolution, it gradually becomes clear that The Equalizer 3 has no story to tell. Very, very little happens in this movie, and all the time we spend with Washington (still somehow compelling, even when he's on autopilot) drinking tea and chatting with locals doesn't lead to any character relationships worth caring for. Fuqua and screenwriter Richard Wenk seem to want to create a sense of familiarity with this Italian town, through which we should ideally see the things Robert McCall grows to value in his violent life. But even the prettiest landscapes (shot by Robert Richardson) can't make up for how empty and misjudged the writing is.

There are approximately two short action scenes in The Equalizer 3, neither of which has the clockwork precision of the fights in the first film, or the environmental inventiveness of the climax of the second film. And while an action movie can aspire to something beyond its action, the fact that this installment has abandoned it completely is a genuinely perplexing choice.

Genre: Action, Crime, Thriller

Actor: Adolfo Margiotta, Agostino Chiummariello, Andrea Dodero, Andrea Scarduzio, Arcangelo Iannace, Beatrice Aiello, Bruno Bilotta, Dakota Fanning, Daniele Ornatelli, Daniele Perrone, Danilo Capuzi, David Denman, Dea Lanzaro, Denzel Washington, Diego Riace, Eugenio Mastrandrea, Gaia Scodellaro, Gianluigi Scilla, Giovanni Scotti, Lucia Zotti, Luigi Catani, Marco Giuliani, Mariarosaria Mingione, Marta Zoffoli, Mauro Cremonini, Melissa Leo, Niccolò Senni, Remo Girone, Salvatore Ruocco, Simona Distefano, Sonia Ammar, Valerio Da Silva, Zakaria Hamza

Director: Antoine Fuqua

Rating: R

Though it'll likely have more to offer for those who enjoyed the original Nickelodeon series that ran from 2014 to 2018, The Thundermans Return still does mournfully little with its feature length. There are some promising ideas here relating to what one's responsibility should be as members of a family, but any heart in the story is buried underneath weak attempts at action and painfully stilted humor—which is only made worse by the laugh track running through much of the film. Even in the oversaturated arena of American superhero movies, this one doesn't have relatable enough characters for teenagers and older kids to relate to, nor does it have enough mindless, poorly shot action for the younger kids.

Genre: Action, Action & Adventure, Comedy, Family, Kids, Science Fiction, TV Movie

Actor: Adam Kulbersh, Addison Riecke, Anushka Rani, Aubrey K. Miller, Audrey Whitby, Brady Amaya, Brandon Papo, Brittany Bardwell, Chevonne Hughes, Chris Tallman, Christina Correll, Christina Offley, Dana Snyder, Daniele Gaither, Diego Velázquez, Fletcher Sheridan, Guy Moon, Harvey Guillén, Helen Hong, Jack Griffo, Jake Borelli, James Hong, Jamie Kaler, Jamieson Price, Jeff Meacham, Jennifer Hale, John Sanders, Kenny Ridwan, Kira Kosarin, Laura Louise, Malcolm Foster Smith, Maya Le Clark, Michael Wayne Foster, Paul F. Tompkins, Robin Atkin Downes, Rosa Blasi, Tanner Stine, Valerie Loo

Director: Trevor Kirschner